Kitty Crime Scene: 45 Illegally Tiny Felines That Should Be Arrested For Stealing Hearts
It’s not easy being a kitten—especially when you are so small and so cute; we often think it’s illegal to be this cute. Being born in this world too small and adorable will earn a cat a criminal record, with its mug shot made public for all to see. Well, sort of. We are talking about a subreddit called “Illegally Smol Cats.” The subreddit has over 733 000 members with names like “doing smol time” or “visiting smol inmates.” Now and then, they have a “smollice”(police) briefing where smols compete for the most illegally smol cat. We chose the smallest and cutest cats on this subreddit for you; here are some cats that are so cute and small, their existence should be illegal. They possess too much power concentrated in a tiny vessel. Illegal! You will see heinous crimes such as napping or enjoying the warmth of a laptop. Scroll at your own risk.
These little criminals are not only menacing to society, but they are also giving their parents even more reasons to worry about them. When you see them, they are up to some illegal stuff, but it’s even worse when you can’t see them!
These poor parents spent hours looking for the little kitty who was busy playing hide and seek in the tissue box. She got her parents all worried. And she’s a criminal on top of it! You gotta pick just one fight, little kitty.
We found this photo with the caption “heated mattress in the criminal’s jail cell.” In case you felt bad for these little criminals, we and the smolice, are here to tell you that they are being treated well in jail.
In fact, they are treated so well that they have high-tech mattresses! Do you have a heated mattress in your home? Probably not. But these tiny criminals do! So, imagine the other luxuries they have. Probably a private chef, serving up only the finest of cat treats.
Even criminals need love, cuddles, and affection. The following photo shows a tiny criminal enjoying some cuddles with its bigger counterpart. Are they well-deserved? Well, everyone deserves love, even evil furry babies. One could even say those evil furry babies…
… especially need cuddles. Maybe the love will turn them into good kitties, not criminals. The whole nature over nurture argument, right? What do you think? Is there hope for their future, or do they need to be reported immediately?
In this next photo, we have a tiny kitty named Jolene. Do you think this is the Jolene Dolly Parton sang about? Honestly, she could steal someone’s man if she desired to. Wouldn’t you agree? However, the kitty does not…
… have flaming locks and auburn hair. Perhaps it’s one of those things that got mislaid in translation. Someone confused these little spots for auburn. Or perhaps it was this kitty’s cousin or ancestor. She is definitely cute enough to have you worried about your man.
This photo came with the caption, “Baby Void when she was the tiniest of soot sprites.” We just have a single inquiry- Why would anyone name their cat Void?! You are both criminals in our book! Void. Shaking head in disapproval.
You knew that it would have to live up to its name when you named it something so vicious! Now it needs to be arrested by the smolice. Good job! Think before you curse your smalls with villain names. What’s in a name? Shakespeare wants to know.
After February or March 2020, the world has never been same. Constant lockdowns and the pandemic got to us all. Even criminal enterprises had to suffer. Going into 2021 was not easy. Everyone went into the year with…
…doubts and concerns. Even the small criminals, like in the photo above. The caption we found this photo with was “waking up to 2021.” We have to give it to these minor furry villains, they are relatable. They make us feel things.
Being a criminal is not easy work. You have to work hard not to get caught committing any illegal activities. It’s not always fulfilling work. Sometimes you get a little grumpy and sad. It’s just the side effects of the job.
Just like the kitten in the photo above. Even while it’s grumpy, it is still criminally cute. How does it do that? These little criminals make even moody look adorable. It’s a criminal superpower! Call the smolice—it has too much power.
We’ve seen these criminals make grumpy look adorable, but what about angry? Or, in the smol language use in the reddit, angy. There’s a smol kitty so cute in this following photo that it makes you sad that it seems to be upset.
Look at it sulking and being so tiny! What killed us are the tiny little toe beans in the last photo on the right. As if the other three photos didn’t melt our hearts enough! Look at those toe beans!!!
Sometimes the smolice has its suspects resisting arrest. They can be running, trying to confuse you with cuteness, or, like this photo below, they can be attempting to camouflage themselves. Blend with the surroundings. This kitty attempted to resist arrest…
… by hiding in a leaf. The kitty could have gotten away with it if the smolice were not so well equipped and trained to spot their suspects! It was, after all, small enough to fit in a leaf. That’s a criminal skill.
Some of these illegally tiny kittens abandon their criminal lives. They go to the other extreme and become what’s known as an “absolute unit.” Being an absolute unit is not illegal. So they must abandon their life of crime to grow this big.
In the photo above, we have some kitties who ditched their criminal lives to become big chonks. It’s an extreme measure to prevent illegal activities, but it’s the only way to change your life and stay off the smolice radar.
These tiny criminals’ biggest crime is manipulation with their cuteness! In the following photo, we can see how one small villain is using this power to hold this human hostage into driving them wherever they want. When will they stop?!
Where do you think the kitty wants to go? Probably to rob more people’s hearts. Or even worse, melt them! Look at those eyes. They can melt the toughest of hearts and souls. Too much power, call the smolice!
As we said before, these criminals are actually being treated very well. In case you were feeling sorry for them! In the following picture, we have a tiny criminal celebrating their birthday with the whole strawberry delicious cake to themselves….
… and wearing a cute hat too! Please, take a look at that heart-shaped candle too! What a treat. We suppose that if you are a tiny princess, you are still a little princess even if you are a criminal.
It’s not easy to hold a trial when you capture and arrest these little criminals. After all, they will not willingly turn off their superpowers. This means when they plead for mercy, like in the photo below, your heart might melt.
What could you do? Would you be capable of enduring this criminal manipulation? We are not sure we would. But after all, we are not trained smolice officers. We leave that work to the professionals. These kitties comprehend what they are doing.
The Covid Pandemic changed our lives. Although mask orders have been removed from many locations, it is going to be a while until we stop sporting them. For some, they might have become an critical part of their lives forever.
In the picture above, we have a little criminal who is spoiling a perfectly good facemask by using it as a hammock. Does the furry villain know that these are single-use?! We have to admit he does look cute in it.
In the following picture below, we have some illegally small cats performing an illegally small ritual. They might be summoning the most illegally most petite kitten. We don’t know! All we understand is that whatever they are doing, it’s not legal.
What do you think they are doing? We believe they are summoning the most villainous of them all! Some innocent bystanders might think they are just napping and being cute, but we know better because the smolice taught us what to look out for.
When a criminal is caught, their details are put on record so that they can be identified in case they commit any crimes in the future. It’s imperative to keep a database of all the tiny criminals, just in case…
…they do it again! In the photo above, we can see a baby criminal being weighed for the database system. The scale correctly identifies their weight as smol. We knew that already, but it’s essential to double-check in law enforcement.
We found this next tiny villain with the caption “Shameless! Not only criminally smol, but even attempting to flee quarantine!” As we said, lockdowns and quarantines were not easy for anybody, but this tiny creature seems to have had enough.
We suppose when your existence is illegal, it’s easier to consider committing something illegal. But we can’t help but think, what is in that suitcase? What does a tiny criminal pack in their tiny bag? Perhaps, tools for robbery or some catnip?!
The following picture came with the caption “criminal has been successfully detained.” However, if you will take a close look at the image below, the criminal looks pretty content. Are these some sort of mind games he’s playing with us?!
Another question we have for the smolice, who is out there fighting the good fight, is how long did it take to locate this criminal? Also, how many people did it take to detain the perp? We imagine at least four.
In this next photo, we have a minor criminal looking peaceful and calm. But don’t be fooled by how serene they look at this moment. They will be out there causing chaos and mayhem as soon as they open their…
… little criminal eyes! The smolice has to be patient in these situations. They can’t just arrest the perp when they are not doing anything. They have to wait, sometimes for hours, until they catch the criminal in the act.
We found this photo with the caption “my cat Sampson and her mini lions.” In this case, we have a question for the smolice: if the non-smol cat gives birth to not one, but four, little baby criminals, do they…
… become a criminal by default? After all, bringing such chaotic energy into the world cannot go unpunished. That just does not seem legal. If anyone specializes in smol law, let us know. It is our responsibility to notify all offenses to the authorities.
Aha! This is what we were speaking about! Sometimes, the smolice has to wait for a long time to catch the criminal red-handed. As we said, this can take hours, days, and even months sometimes! It’s hard work. But someone…
… must do it. In the photo above, we have a criminal who has been caught running an illegal smol business. You can see the guilt in their eyes! They know that they were caught! Should have waited for that email.
These tiny villains have a way of getting to us all. Specifically, we mean that they have a way to steal your heart. This is their specialty. They are professionals, and you can never let your guard down around them.
In the photo above, we have a miniature criminal who scammed their way into a house by pretending they were a new phone! This is what we mean. You can never ever allow yourself to let your guard down! It leaves you vulnerable.
There are all sorts of individuals in this world. We do not only come in all shapes and sizes, but our personalities vary so much it’s hard to categorize all hobbies, likes, and dislikes. That being said… There are also…
… fans of these little criminals! Some people just like to glorify crime but hey, whatever floats your boat. In the photo above, we have some fan art for the small angry kitty we saw a few photos ago. Strange but cute.
It’s not every day that you can witness a picture that tells 1000 words. In this next one, we have a kitten that goes by the name “Buttons.” But don’t allow her cute name to deceive you! She is a true bonafide villain.
It’s all right there in the picture! Why is that plushie lying down? Was it… killed?! Buttons, what did you do?! Her face says she would do it all over again! She doesn’t even lament it. Not one bit of it.
We’ve seen how these little criminals inspire fan art. But now, in the following photo, we have a copycat! Pun intended. Please, we urge all kittens and humans not to make this type of criminal behavior seem glamorous and cute!
It’s dangerous and harmful for young impressionable minds to be influenced by these illegal beings. They might be encouraged to perform illicit activities themselves, like the kitten in the picture above. Stay vigilant and report all suspicious behavior to the smolice!
Ok, this next criminal is so tiny that we almost melted instantly. We are giving you a heads up. You’ve been warned. This next one is pretty dangerous so move on at your own risk. We will not be taking…
… any responsibility if your heart melts. Legally, we did our jobs and put a disclaimer. You proceeded at your own risk. This little criminal turned on their superpower to the max. You need to be alert and conscious of their power.
Ouch. We thought the last criminal was extremely dangerous, but this next one might be equally dangerous, if not more! The last one had their tiny eyes opened and melted hearts with their look, but this next one is genuinely…
… the definition of what it means to be criminally too firkin’ tiny! How do you exist while being so small?! It can’t be legal! Or possible! Or maybe, this person holding the kitten has enormous hands. What do you think?
We previously discussed how keeping a database is essential so that the smolice can locate criminals and their associates. We found this photo with the caption “criminal with a known associate.” We can spot two criminally tiny kittens in this photo! Can you?
We appreciate people accessing the smolice database to locate criminals and their associates, but they should probably be more thorough with their vetting in the future. You must be very cautious. Upon closer inspection, there might be three of them!
Remember the kitten from the list named the Void? Well, apparently little Void could not stay away from crime. In this next photo, we see the baby Void preventing unsuspecting humans from accessing some essential services, like the toilet!
There’s something on the bathroom floor that we are sure is somehow related to the crime scene. We don’t have the complete picture yet, but we assume that blocking the toilet is not the only crime that Void committed today.
We talked about how these tiny criminals have some powers. Like, the ability to melt your heart so they can escape the consequences of their actions. However, some humans found a way to harness this power and use these criminals as weapons.
In the photo above, we can see how you can use tiny criminals as lethal weapons. This photo was found with the question, “Is this an open carry state?” While we are not sure if these weapons are legal, associating with criminals isn’t.
The best detective discovered this photo with a caption that says it all: “tiny cat at large for being unreasonably cute. If spotted, report to local pawthorities immediately.” We don’t know what to add after that except that we hope that…
… this criminal was arrested. The charges against them, as you can see in the photo above, are all true. This kitten is unreasonably adorable. It doesn’t seem legal. We tried to contact pawthorities to see how they are progressing, no comment.
Liste, not all criminals are hopeless. Some can stop their illegal activities, but it takes effort to leave the life of crime behind. In this next photo, we have a criminal who wants to leave that street life behind and…
… is working very hard to reform. Apparently, they rushed to jump into this human’s car. The human said that it was fate that they met. The former criminal even went through a little hole in the fence to get to rehab.
Even criminals get sick and need to go to the doctor, just like those who stay on the right side of the law. Doing illegal activities does not protect you from health problems. No one gets a free pass, especially not the evil.
This small criminal in the photo above ate some kitty litter that made them sick. The vet ordered they get an X-ray just to be sure that everything was in order, but the furry villain was not happy about it.
Criminals are known to take shortcuts in life and side-roads to get around things they don’t want to face. If there is a loophole they can exploit, they will find it and exploit it. In this next photo, we have…
… an illegally small kitten who LEGALLY changed its name to “smol boi.” Do you think this will help him avoid being legally persecuted for being illegally smol? Or do you suppose the point that he admits it lets him off the hook?
Oh dear lord! You will not believe what we found! In this next photo, we have another criminal who has been caught redhanded committing crimes! It seems like it’s easier to catch these criminals if their illegal activities go online.
The pawthorities found this furry villain committing ruthless cybercrimes. We know these criminals cannot resist warm surfaces. This is probably why it’s easiest for the smolice to catch them in the act online while using a laptop. They can’t resist.
When the tiny criminal melts your heart, it’s over for you. You are now hypnotized into wanting to take care of them for their entire little lives. They know this, and will stop at nothing to get free stuff!
In the photo above, we have an unsuspecting plumber who fell for the spell, and now he is a slave to the tiny furry villain. It might look all peaceful and cute, napping on the man’s shoulder, but it’s a menace!
Another superpower these little criminals are known for is shapeshifting. This is an advantageous ability for committing crimes. First, it allows them to morph and squeeze into tiny spaces that no other being could squeeze into. But another side effect…
… is that this gives them additional confusion points! As you can see in the photo above, this little criminal looks like it has no feties. It’s only hiding their little feet so you keep looking at it in confusion.
Criminals have their likes and dislikes too. They might even have hobbies. We have four criminals who formed their own quartet in this next photo. Listen, sometimes you have to separate the artist from the art and just enjoy music.
Even if these little puffballs are illegally small, they might sound heavenly. After all, all the best music was once considered sinful! Ask your grandma about the Beatles craze. We can’t discredit them; they might be the next big thing!
Sometimes, cats show their personalities early on. This is when you will know if your kitten will get you into all kinds of trouble. In this next photo, we have tiny Gus who will clearly be a little troublemaker.
Apparently, Gus was the first of his litter, so ambitious little criminal. The most dangerous kind! But once he started walking, he was also the first one to come out from under the porch, screaming at their caretaker human and leave.
When you walk into the room, you have to scan it really well. We can’t stress this enough, but these villains can blend with the background, they can shapeshifter, and they can squeeze into tiny spaces. You have to stay vigilant.
If you are not attentive, you might not notice them. In this photo above, take a closer look at the middle of the picture, to the right. You will see the little criminal sitting there minding its business. It is probably plotting crimes.
As we said, these little creatures are extremely dangerous. They can be discovered in establishments you would never suspect. You might go in for a job interview, and then you find out they climbed through the ranks of the corporate world…
… and are now even CEOs! While they might try to intimidate you with corporate tactics or melt your heart, you must report this to pawthorities and the smolice. These activities are illegal and while they fooled everyone, don’t let them con you!
Guys… is this the Void again? The baby Void indeed can’t stay away from crime. But, we are reaching the end of our photos so we will forgive him. Because in this next photo he looks like he is feeling…
… a little overwhelmed. It appears he just discovered he has feet! See, if these creatures aren’t careful, they can use their powers on themselves. This leaves them confused. He just realized how tiny his feet are and how illegal they are by extension.
As we’ve seen many times on this list, these little villains can take over your life in just a few steps. They use one or a few of their superpowers on you, and boom! Next thing you know, you are their servant.
In this photo above, we see a criminal who has mesmerized a human into creating disguises for them. Essentially, this human is an accomplice in the illegal activities. Helping and harboring criminals is a crime. Be careful and stay vigilant!
You have to be cautious when you have smol furry villains around you. Watch your step and watch your tone. They are always planning something nasty. You have to stay alert and vigilant. You can’t just drop the ball and chill.
Honestly, in the photo above, it’s the person’s fault for sneezing. They didn’t watch out, and now the furry villains are striking back. You’ve unleashed their inner beasts. You poked the bears. Well, the super tiny kittens. Same thing, sort of.
For our last criminal, we have the most villainous of them all! Remember how one criminal legally changed their name to “Smol Boi” well, this one is even worse! This one goes by the name of “Tax Evasion.” Wow, it is too much.
Can you believe the audacity? Look at him! Just look! The audacity. Nevertheless, this gets us to the end of our list. We hope you enjoyed it and that you learned some tactics on how to avoid being manipulated by tiny villains.